I Haven't Gone to the Beach 'Cause I Don't Really Get It

by Cody Smith

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this album was recorded entirely by myself on my phone between may and december


released December 24, 2016

All songs written and performed by myself.

Album art: Daniel Høndermann

James Reid on the bong in track 12.

Tossin' Socks: tossinsocks.bandcamp.com



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Cody Smith Ottawa, Ontario


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Track Name: I Miss Everyone, All of the Time (Home)
They'll watch you learn and they'll watch you burn.
This old knife don't hurt too much anymore.
I'm wasting time so I take my food to go.
I close my eyes and I light a smoke.
I do my best to hold my breath.
Do you think I should visit the hospital?
I might make a friend who dies with hope.
The lights are bright but the air is cold.
I kill the things that I love the most.
I'd like to watch myself become a ghost.
I'd float around and makes some sounds alone.
In a quiet town that feels like home.


I miss everyone, all of the time.

I'll stay awake for you.
Might be laying on the floor.

I'll be here all night.

You tell me that your heart feels sore.
There's nothing about me that you adore.
So I take a bow and walk out the fucking door.
Like my father's done so well before.
Close your eyes, the sun is shy.
Count how many times you've wanted to die.
You might get rejected by the sky.
But don't be sad 'cause so was I.
I've lost belief in anything.
That's okay I just get really bored.
It's something I find so hard to ignore.
But the only thing I know for sure.
Even though my blood still flows.
I'd like to watch myself become a ghost
I'd float around and make some sounds alone.
In a quiet town that feels like home.


I miss everyone, all of the time.

I'll stay away from you,
Might be laying on the floor.

I'll be here all night.
Track Name: playground
I was writing you a story, and it had a happy ending.
It's a secret, will you keep it?
I hope you don't think it's boring,
I hope I am not annoying.
I know how to walk away.

Not today, this isn't really happening.
Track Name: people as flowers
In my weird dreams, you come to me.
Now I can see, your love is free.

In the sea I can breathe.
In the sun I become.

We are flowers, twilight hours.
Tonight we die, we find white light.
Track Name: apple core
baby eats the apple core, she says it helps her sleep.
she says it helps the apples grow inside of her tummy.
everyday she wakes up on the right side of the bed.
she says the morning sun protects her from all the bad.

and all the while she smiles and recites the alphabet.
and reminds me that I shouldn't try so hard to forget.

live the life that you get.

she gives me everything that I thought I could never have.
the only light that even tries to shine during the day.
I wish I was more than just a shadow that she casts.
she turns the sandpits into grass and becomes a little plant.

everybody wants to keep a little part of her.
everybody wants to be a little part of her.

live the life that you get.
Track Name: angel static
I find myself afraid more often than not
of every little thing, of every living thing.
you are sunlight in human form, angel static, smile porn.
"cure" is just a pretty way of saying "death", don't fuck with it.
you choose your favourite colours and fill me in,
we cannot be friends, we cannot be friends.

I want to hurt you for fun, because it seems like you'd like it.
I wish you'd open my throat, at least it'd feel fucking honest.
What do you not understand? Am I that temperamental?
It's just I love when you breathe, because it's so sentimental.

I am so warmed by your winter touch.
in you I trust, for god I lust.
Even if you are just a voice inside my head. or a broken cigarette, or the words that I forget.
I want to be the breath that you exhale from your lungs, just for fun, just this once.
Maybe when I'm dead you'll find some depth in what I've said, and make me live again as a friend you never had.
Track Name: the easy way
I saw the black sunset
burn my own tv
dog died in it's sleep
everything's subconscious
only constantly
listen as I speak

they let us today
they let us to play

missed the winter season
closed my eyes instead
waited for the end
when I woke up breathing
soft september air
almost couldn't bare

man, I wish that I could just hold onto the only single fucking thing that makes me feel good
I've been saving up some money, pharmaceutical love
you watched me barely make it to the fucking door

it's a happy day
Track Name: part two
everyone I know is dead is or dying
I guess that makes all of us, don't get too excited
I was walking you home but I was invited
left you in a k-hole and became the only pilot
I watched a conversation turn into confrontation
they were all laughing 'cause it was animation
I called you when I thought I was out of hallucination
I didn't know that all you were was just a fabrication
I haven't been around in a week or two
but I know who I am so who are you?
Track Name: us
anybody you can save
even for just one night
as long as everyone's okay, everything will be alright
I just wanna keep you safe, I just wanna see you smile
I really want you to stay, even for a little while

I'm slipping through the cracks of your hands
appearing as a tear in your eye
please don't try to hide again
you're always so hard to find
you ask me what our purpose is
it's always so hard to lie

but you will know it's us
when we come into town
they're gonna know it's us
I'll take you to the fair
I'll win you something good
like I should
like I said I would
might drink too much
they're gonna it's us
when we come into town
they're gonna it's us
Track Name: a table for one (is at least a table)
there's tragedies everywhere
it just depends on what circles you run in
I found you dead and you looked comfy
they always said punk rock makes her horny

I'm sleepy

I know it's hard to cheer for me when I lose consistently

a table for one is at least a table
I like to stare outside while I peel the label
move things around in this house
I wanna know where I'll die
I caught a little mouse
corner of my eye

I'm sleeping
Track Name: discomfort
your body sells but you don't
you little sneaky pill
you throw up what you spill
you turned off the lights so we couldn't see you
you are so see through

I can hardly bare
Track Name: beautiful day
dead on the bus
trying to sleep
it goes where it wants
it does what it please
it don't mean a thing
'cause I won't be here
living this life
for too many years
so I walk through the door
with my head in my hands
my heart on the floor
I smile again
as I celebrate this beautiful day
moon in my eyes
sun in my veins
look through the mirror
I see it clear
all of the things
normal and weird
all falls apart
together again
right from the start
until the end
swallowing pistols
everything's gone
lay down the bottle
I become god
in transformation
red turns to blue
we are transcending
flowers in bloom

beautiful day